I Steal in my Dreams

2004-05-18 at 3:03 p.m.

Last night I dreamed that I stole some big huge pick up truck, drove it to a scrap yard and sold it. Then, when I had the money in my hands, it all disolved. I then had to go back to where I'd stolen the car and I felt so incredibly guilty, but not enough to confess, since I knew I'd go to jail. So i just walked around trying to find the person whose truck I'd stolen just to see them and maybe help them in some way, but I couldn't find them. Then I went into a law office where I had an appointment with a lawyer about MY car being stolen and our case against the person who had done it. Then I realised I had stolen my own car but was too confused/guilty to tell anyone that I had sold my own car for scrap and the money had disappeared. And why I was driving a pick up truck I just don't know.

Right before going off to sleep, P asked me if I'd be cleaning house today. I think I pelted him with a pillow or at least said something nasty, but I don't remember. I swear, he drives me nuts. I feel like the untidy half of the odd couple. I'll take the last sip of a soda and set it down while I collect my plate... you know, to take it all into the kitchen at the same time, and he'll seize the can and be on his feet before I can get a word in. I've started being vicious and sometimes looking strait at him while flinging a used napkin to the floor. Then I'll order him to leave it there. Usually he'll wait a few minutes until I forget its there and go for it. Of course, i don't realise this until I look down and its gone and he's in the other room. Whistling.

Anyway, back to the bedroom. We worked out a compromise. Since there were about 10 boxes plus collective piles of clothing everywhere (we don't have enough room for all our stuff in the closet), I made him give me one month to get it clean. I'd like to point out that my month is not due up for another week. We swore I'd get it clean in a month, and he wouldn't nag me until that month was up. Did it last? oh, oh no. Not at all. I think he made it a week. Then he just couldn't stand it. And started mumbling about all the mess and such and he had cleaned the office, why haven't I cleaned the bedroom? After all, almost all the stuff in those boxes IS mine.

Oh, that's just NOT the right thing to say to me. But yet, I still rolled with the punches, and let him go on and on... our housewarming party is in a week... it will take us that long to get this ready.. what will we tell people, etc etc etc.

I was very nice.

I told him I'd do it all on my day off (today) if he would get all his stuff out of it.

So he did.

I have four boxes to put up (although almost all the clothing IS mine).

Its mostly mine, huh?

Sure.

So, today i get up early. (10:00). What can I say? I'm not a morning person. And I'm up maybe ten minutes and I see the invitations to our house warming party sitting by the front door. I open the fridge in a desperate seek for caffine, and I see his work sandwiches. So......I call him at work. Its all hi, hi, how are you... Did you clean the room yet? (sheesh. COme ON, I've been UP 15 minutes) No. Did you leave the invitations. No, I brought half of them. Did you want me to bring you your sandwiches? No, I'm having lunch right now. Oh, okay. So, are you going to be cleaning the room today? Why don't you just leave it. Oh, okay. I love you. I love you, bye, goodbye.

I cannot be awake 15 minutes before the nag fest begins.

In definance I watched the news and some show I don't know the name of before getting started. And its all done. Except a few of the boxes are STILL all P's stuff. And somehow the kitties have decided my clean clothing should be used as a litter box. So i'm having to do about 5 loads of laundry before I can finish. I did find all my pants that don't fit anymore and labeled them before putting them up in the closet. Its really quite sad. size 18s above size 16s above size 14s. That is how far back they go. Before size 14 I was in fifth grade. At least I grew at a fairly slow rate. Its still awful, though. The week before moving to our new house I got really, really sick. And I couldn't eat hardly anything. That plus my sudden modivation to walk allowed me to lose 10 lbs right before the move. We didn't have electricity for a week after, however, and I gained it all back. I've been steady at 240 for two years now with a few instances of loss and no gains. I went on a diet twice that allowed me to lose 5 lbs a week and not be starved. Problem was, everytime I went on it I gained a bra size. It's scary. Thats why I stopped the first time. Then I gained the weight back but kept the bra size. I decided it was a freak one time thing and went back on the same diet (which is theory, should work, salad, veggies, low sat protein) And it happened again. I think I'm afraid of dieting. I could be thin, but a Dolly Parton look alike? So with me being sick I just... didn't eat. I had a few Frapaccinos for density, and some peanut strong candy bars for sustenance, but nothing big. Just enough to keep my stomach from complaining, and not healthy stuff. But I didn't gain a boob size and I lost 10 lbs... I just can't keep it there.

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