Yes, yes I DO have a spine

2005-01-02 at 11:28 p.m.

I had to cancel my Capitol One credit card.

This would not be the first card I cancelled, but as I would soon discover, it would be the most difficult. I called the number. The automated system tells you the balance of your card, the date due, then says "this is the only information available until tomorrow morning, at 9 am. Ooookaay. That was fine, since the first time I called was the day after christmas. I waited until monday, and tried again, about noon. Same deal. Next day, same thing, again. On Wednesday, I called and the message had changed. "This is the only information available until tomorrow morning, at 8 am." Eight? Oh.. no, no, no. Since I do work in retail, I know how to get someone on the phone. I shall share, in case anyone else has this problem. Hit 0 enough, and you get a live person. Usually it takes about 6 tries. So I do that.

0 "that is an invalid number"
0 "that is an invalid number"
0 "that is an invalid number"
0 "that is an invalid number"

In which, I go into a "stupid evil credit number" rage and hit 0 two dozen times.
0000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000

After about one minute after my last zero.. I get "that is an invalid number."

I am a very laid back person, normally. I avoid confrontation. I don't get mad.

But I did.
So I stab 0 until my finger hurts, then continue with my thumb for about 5 minutes, and once that cramps, I pause.
"Connecting you now to a representative. "

That's right, bitch.

So, I explain, not so calmly, that I want to cancel my card for several reasons, main point being I have never had such an issue getting someone on the phone as I have with capitol one. My secondardy reason is that even though my card expired a month ago, I have been charged the annual fee (which is crap, anyway) and I'm not paying a fee on a card I can't use.

So the lady I'm talking to transfers me to her boss, which is just fine. She's not paid enough to get the kind of abuse I'm ready to dish out.

I explain again my problem, adding on the misleading call center message, which I did cooperate with the first few times, and, since I DID get someone on the phone, is completely wrong. She offers to remove the fee and send me a new card.

No. I explain again that I do not want to cooperate with a company that I cannot get on the phone when I have a minor problem like this until it excelates until its a BIG problem. She says she'll cancel the card, but I have to pay the yearly fee. (which you pay in advance of a year of using the card.)

To which I regale her with a full immitation (in the manly baratone voice its despensed in) for her amusement of the false message on their call system, and I tell her to go ahead and charge me. They'll never get their money because I'm upset with them, and I'll happily explain to all my friends and co workers why they should never deal with Capitol One credit card company. She had to put me on hold, and get HER boss to cancel the fee.

But I got my fee canceled. And my card. And I was very nice, if not very calm.

Added to this, the day that I opened a can of whoopass on a poor, unsuspecting, door to door salsesman, and I have found my limit on personal insult.

I just realized, however, that I never shared that story.

I'm at my house, with my roomie, and someone rings the bell. Looking through the window, I see black pants and boots, and think "Oh, its Cody." I open the door, and its a door to door salesman. I arch my eyebrows in the universal "What's up, dude." and he takes one look at me and says "uhh.... are your parents home."

I've been the proud owner of my house since April. I painted the kitchen, changed light fixtures, not to mention signed the paperwork and paid the bills. I did not react nicely to this.
I laughed, loudly, and slamed the door in the poor guys face.

Paul thought I'd exagerated this story until the night after my Capitol One call, when Chris talked about it during a rare (and savored) 'Allison is a badass' speil.

Yes, yes I DO have a spine

2005-01-02 at 11:28 p.m.

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